SHRINK RAP - Andrew Eldritch plays cat and mouse with the MM shrink - March 5, 1988

("Shrink Rap" was a regular Maker feature in which the subject free-associated upon words and phrases tossed at him/her by an MM writer.)


CATS
Those allergic to cats should undoubtedly be burned at the stake. What more can I say? Either you find cats the most sublime creatures imaginable (with the probable exception of Joanna Lumley), or the best part of you as slid down your mother's leg, to put it mildly.

REINCARNATION
A shame, in many ways, if the only thing that gives life meaning is the total absence of anything above, below, or at either end, because I wouldn't mind reappearing as a panther, or such like. It has been suggested that I was formerly an Inquisitor, but it would be unwise to listen to those who now walk quite so strangely...

FOLK
I am a practicing Anglo-Saxon.

THE FIVE-DAY TEST MATCH
Essentially a religious art form, some sort of connection with the folk subconscious, for reasons which are obvious to the wise, perfectly and appropriately obscure to the benighted. My own inability to wield a cricket bat is of course irrelevant, largely a function of terror and by no means an impediment to the appreciation of the game.

THE ONE-NIGHT STAND
Largely a function of terror.

ONE THING I WISH I'D WRITTEN
"East Coker", in my humble and rarely voiced opinion, the finest of Eliot's "Four Quartets", which are head and shoulders above anything else written this century.

REVENGE
I have been known to instigate the odd reprisal when I thought it in the public good, but I think I prefer vindication, which has to be sweeter because of its passive nature. Much more graceful, much more dignified. I do have faith in the ability of history to judge, but it must be said that history as it lies before us looks kind of finite, and it is tempting to lend it a hand now and again, doubly vain though that may be.

MARLBORO
Did you know that they will not sell me Marlboro cigarettes in Canada? You can't find them anywhere. Mr. Marlboro apparently refuses to have any French written on his cigarette packets, so the French Canadians refuse to stock them. I've bought Marlboro in almost every country in the world, written in German, Arabic and even Chinese, but never French. I believe such practices should be encouraged and that Mr. Marlboro should be acknowledged as the man of taste and refinement he most certainly is.

JORDAN
The place was far more astonishing than you can ever imagine from the ("Dominion") video. Vista opens onto vista. It really is a metropolis.

THE CURSE OF ELDRITCH
Largely a function of terror. If I can live with it, so shall you.



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